What practical strategies helped you de-escalate conflicts under stress?

[PenelopeNW]

My partner and I have been together for several years and have a generally strong relationship, but we've fallen into a pattern where minor disagreements quickly escalate into frustrating, circular arguments because we both get defensive and stop truly listening. We want to break this cycle and communicate more effectively, especially during moments of stress. For couples who have worked through similar communication patterns, what practical strategies or resources helped you learn to de-escalate conflicts and have more productive, empathetic conversations that actually resolve the issue instead of just ending the fight?