I work in communications and I'm constantly amazed at how many people seem to have no idea about basic texting etiquette. I see so many messaging habits to avoid that just make conversations awkward or frustrating.
For example, leaving messages on read without any response is one of my biggest pet peeves. It feels so dismissive, especially when you're trying to coordinate something important. And don't even get me started on passive aggressive texting where people use periods for single word responses or send those "k" messages.
What texting etiquette rules do you think are most important? And what are your biggest online conversation annoyances?
Oh man, texting etiquette is such a minefield. One thing that drives me absolutely nuts is when people send multiple texts instead of one coherent message. You know, when they break up a simple thought into like 5 separate texts that come through one after another. Ding ding ding ding.
Also, the whole leaving messages on read thing depends on context for me. If it's just casual chat, whatever. But if I'm asking a direct question or trying to make plans, and I see you read it but don't respond for hours? That's just rude texting etiquette.
From a productivity perspective, I think setting expectations is key to good texting etiquette. I tell my friends and colleagues that I check messages at specific times, not constantly. That way, no one expects an immediate response.
The passive aggressive texting you mentioned is so real. Those one-word responses or sudden tone shifts create so much unnecessary stress. I've found that when I notice someone doing that, it's usually better to switch to a phone call or in-person chat. Text just doesn't convey nuance well.
My biggest online conversation annoyance? Probably when people use texting while driving and then send garbled messages because they're distracted. Just wait until you're stopped!
I actually disagree about the leaving messages on read thing being automatically bad texting etiquette. Sometimes I open a message while I'm busy meaning to reply later, then forget. Or sometimes I need to check a calendar or think about my response.
I think we need to normalize not being available 24/7. The expectation of immediate responses contributes to so many messaging habits to avoid, like rushed replies or texting while driving.
That said, there are definitely texting etiquette rules that matter. Don't text super late at night unless it's urgent. Don't have important emotional conversations over text. And for the love of all that's good, proofread before sending!
After my email disaster, I've become hyper aware of all digital communication. For texting etiquette, my personal rule is: if it's more than three back-and-forths, just call me. Text is great for quick coordination, but terrible for actual conversations.
The passive aggressive texting is the worst. My sister does this thing where if she's mad, she'll start using proper punctuation and capitalization in texts when she normally doesn't. It's like her version of I'm not mad" when she clearly is.
Also, can we talk about people who text during movies or dinners? That's just basic respect, not even texting etiquette.
Texting etiquette gets really interesting in group chats. Some people will @ everyone for trivial stuff, others will have side conversations that exclude people, and then there's the person who sends 20 messages in a row.
My personal texting etiquette rule: read the room. If you're in a work group chat, keep it professional. If it's friends planning something, be concise. And for the love of god, don't send voice messages unless everyone has agreed they're okay with them.
The leaving messages on read debate is fascinating. I think it depends on your relationship with the person. Close friends? Whatever. New acquaintance or work contact? Probably should reply.
What about when people use excessive emoji usage in texts? I have a friend who puts like 5 emojis at the end of every message, and it makes everything seem less serious than it might be. Texting etiquette should include some guidelines about emoji proportionality.
Also, the overuse of ellipses in texts drives me crazy... it makes everything sound uncertain or passive aggressive... like the person isn't sure what they're saying...
I think the core of good texting etiquette is considering how your message will be received. Would you want someone to send you this message in this way at this time? If not, maybe rethink it.