I’ve been managing a small team for about a year now, and I keep hitting this wall where I feel like I’m just approving or rejecting their ideas instead of really helping them think for themselves. I want to get better at coaching them to find their own solutions, but I’m not sure how to shift out of that directive mindset. Has anyone else struggled with moving from a manager to more of a coach?
I've been there. The shift from giving orders to guiding questions felt messy at first like stepping out of a familiar lane. Coaching isn't about removing decisions it is about shaping the space for them to own the decision. Start with a single simple question after a proposal, what problem are we trying to solve and for whom?
From a systems view you are replacing a decision gate with a learning loop. The trick is to design prompts and boundaries what constraints exist what metrics matter what would a first experiment look like. For coaching you can codify that into a mini framework the team can pivot faster and learn more.
My read is you want to be a mentor not a judge so you stop approving and start narrating your own thinking aloud
Skeptically this coaching buzz often feels like a badge that buys time while nothing changes. If the team keeps asking you what to do maybe the real blocker is the goals or the feedback cadence not your leadership style
Maybe the task is not shifting from manager to coach but from solving to aligning You coach them to present options with tradeoffs rather than a single best solution
If you think in scenes rather than steps you can coach through scenario prompts what would you do in a tight deadline what risks do you reveal
Try a weekly decision sprint where you set a problem a couple of proposed options from the team then you facilitate a 20 minute debate and stop to reflect on what the team learned No verdict just learning